Frankie Crackers

“So, this guy that sells me breadsticks from Italy, Frankie Crackers.”


“Frankie Crackers, yeah, he offered to have a driver, who doesn’t speak a lick of English, come out and pick me up from my hotel so I can see the breadstick operation.  Yeah, he said he’d put me up in a hotel for the night and have the driver take me home the next day.”

“Uhm… that sounds an awful lot like a different kind of offer.”

“Yeah, I know.  You know uncle John’s in the crazy house right?”

“Uncle John?”

“Yeah.  Apparently he tried to shoot himself, then he tried to jump out of a moving car while they were taking him to the hospital.  They’ve got him on … something.  I don’t know what, and they’re not letting his family see him and he can’t leave.  But keep in mind, this is from Mom.”

“Well, there’ll still be SOME facts in there then.  Even SHE can’t make up ALL that shit.”

“I know, but why wouldn’t they let his family see him?”

“Are you kidding?  He’s on suicide watch.  Having his family come and visit would make it worse.  Don’t forget who his family is.”

“Yeah, OUR family.”

“Don’t remind me.”