November 27, 2022

I had a rule

I’m finding my brain, even after a four day work week, starting to organize itself around the structure of the week and, perhaps oddly, around structure in general. 

The fallout from yesterday’s day of frustration continues.  I just have to figure out what the right books are.  Those technologies change so damned fast that something from a few years ago might not be even out of date so much as straight-up wrong.

But it sets me on a program of trying to get this crap in my head.

On the other side, I’m starting to think in terms of what I want to get done by when and how to break that down into meaningful discrete pieces.

On another front, one of the big problems with working has always been lunch.  Doesn’t seem like it should be, but for 35 years I’ve, very soon after I’ve started someplace, come to the conclusion that “there’s nothing to eat in <fill in town>.”  Now that makes its own sense in little suburbs.  But I spent decades working in downtown Manhattan. 

It’s just not true.  But a certain kind of boredom, coupled with lunchtime executive function burnout makes every option dull within a couple weeks.  So I think what I’m going to have to start doing is both bringing lunch and setting aside days to eat at one place or another and just order the same damned thing, with the option to change it up but to always have a fallback.

Of course now that I’m thinking about it I remember that I used to do that.  I’d forgotten what my fallback was, but I had a rule that said “if I thought of three places and none of them hit me right, I’d head to…”  I think it might have been Panda Express.

Actually, fuck it.  Yeah.  That’s the rule for now. Until I come up with a better one.  It’s to easy to just eat fucking garbage then feel like shit about it by three in the afternoon.

It’s not quite Einstein’s closet full of the exact same suit so he didn’t have to make decisions about what to wear, but it’s on the right track.  Set up rules so that you don’t have to make decisions about stupid shit.  It hasn’t been so much of a problem lately since there wasn’t really any pressure.  But I’ve got other shit to do with my head.

What and when to eat.  What I want to learn.  Indeed, what to wear.  There will be a scheduling of the weeks and days, something to measure against.

I’m not sure what the final form will take.  Well…that’s a silly concept at its outset.  I’m not sure what form it’ll all settle in to first.

It’ll be fun.