7/2/2017: Meditation meditation

I haven’t been reading my old stuff as much as I used to. I suppose back in the day I was just up to my eyeballs in “The Blogosphere” and now that entire universe has been assimilated by the cancer that is social media. It really is a shame.

I’ve been keeping up the meditation thing pretty steadily. It’s been about 4-5 days a week for a while now and…it’s getting…interesting.

I mentioned that weird calmed down ultra-mellow sensation that I was soaking in. The quiet mind that I could map to an absolute physical sensation in my head.

What I assumed was going to happen was that that feeling, its duration and strength, would both increase. I’d be better about keeping my mind silent during meditation, and the static would get a bit duller afterwards. In otherwords: More of the same.

But to my shock that’s NOT what’s going on. I noticed it about a week ago. But the process of meditation has changed remarkably. There’s no peculiar calm feeling, though I am getting better at letting intrusive thoughts stay on the express lane through my mind without stopping to waste energy on them.

As a result (I can only guess) my sense of time during meditation is getting funny. 45 minutes is blasting by at an amazing rate and I’m getting tastes of an actual “not quite euphoria.” I remember (now, trying to put this down for the first time) positively basking in a mental state and thinking, quite overtly, “Oh yeah, I could get used to being here.” The feeling itself is not worth trying to describe. I just don’t think I’m that articulate. It IS a bit intoxicating though.

Now I know, that positively REEKS of spiritual materialism. But at this stage of the game, I’m too happy with this strange development that I like to think is progress, to worry overmuch about that.

I’ve been working on my fermented pepper madness a bit this weekend. Mostly that means putting things in the blender, straining them and seeing how I can turn the result into pepper sauces, without much luck so far. The result is generally that I’ve put everything back in their respective fermenting jars, pureed. The air in my apartment is running about 1.3 million scoville. I really do have high hopes for a couple of these. But I have to think about the next steps a bit more and read a lot more.

The June moratorium on gaming and soda came to a crashing halt Friday night. I’d played up how I was going to sink a red bull and play Everquest 1 at midnight. But what I did instead was take a sip of ginger beer and check in on my Fallout Shelter save, then went to bed.

The last two days however have been a mad scramble across all the games I bought during the steam sale, without getting very far. After two days I’m feeling a little hung over on diet dew and half hour spurts of gaming.

For July I’ve settled on:

– Daily meditation
– Daily writing (not exclusive to the blog, so you probably won’t see it all.)

I think tomorrow I’m working on some programming projects. We’ll see.

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