SOAK LOGS IN WOOD

This is why I love the internet:

Rey rey is cray cray

It’s a hordecollection of people who are completely fucking insane.  Yes, you have to know and all that microcultural context of what imgur.com is, what it means to be on the front page, and why “SOAK LOGS IN WOOD” MIGHT be the funniest 4 words ever written.

But if you do; if you have that context, be it for imgur, twitter, facehole, EvE Online, or, shit, even perlmonks, there’s nothing as awesome as the internet.

 

I know, I KNOW. Sheesh. You people are worse than the voices

Been pulling my hair out on a bunch of different things, all to the good really.

But tonight I’m relaxing a bit and making some cinnamon almonds, so I figured I’d make sure I posted the recipe, trivial as it is:

  • 1 pound of smoked, salted almonds.
  • 1 Cup of granular sugar
  • 3/4 tsp of cinnamon
  • 2/3 cup of water (ish)

Put everything but the almonds in a large surface pan of some kind (I use a wok) since you’re going to be counting on evaporation and boiling off the water.

Turn the sugar/cinnamon/water on medium and mix it thoroughly.

Once it’s boiling, turn it down to “medium low” (call it 3 out of 10.)

Pour the almonds in and mix.

Wait and mix, and wait and mix, and wait and mix. But mostly wait.

and mix.

What you’re really doing is starting out by making a cinnamon simple syrup of sorts, then coating the almonds in it and cooking it down, primarily to boil off the water more than anything, so that the sugar hardens up.

You’ll notice after 20-40 minutes (the variance in timing can be pretty wild) that the edges of the pan start looking a little white and dried out.  Hurrah, you’re in the home stretch.

Mix them pretty evenly as the final evaporation takes place and it gets gummier and gummier.  At some point there’ll be no liquid content left and you’ll have to scrape the cinnamon sugar mixture off the sides of the pan and mix it back in with the almonds.

I’m pretty sure that, at this point, you’re really done and that any additional cook time is just going to burn it.

Pour them out on to a cookie sheet and spread them out to cool.

Enjoy.

They’re easy as hell to make, but require a lot of attention.

The cardinal sin with these is to get impatient and turn the heat up. DON’T DO IT.  You’ll burn the sugar and really just have to toss it all.

If you can time it such that they’re ready a half hour before an engagement of some kind, they’re really quite awesome warm.

But, even the next day (when you bring them in to the office on a Monday morning for brownie points *cough*) they’re still far better than the store bought ones.

Enjoy. o/